Where do you find your hope?
Dear Parents,
Here we are, in 2021, learning virtually as I type this. 2021, a year we have all been anticipating, pleading for it to come with haste, to release us from 2020. And yet, it already feels eerily like 2020. So, I ask you, where is your hope? Is it in 2022? Is it in a vaccine? Where do you believe your children are finding their hope? Before reading further, I would like to ask you to stop and answer this question, then ask your children to do the same.
Where do you find your hope in this moment?
It is easy for me to answer this question with no delay, no reservation and state enthusiastically, “My hope is found in my Savior, this world is not my forever home.” I state that, but do I live it, feel it down in the depths of my soul, run to it with no hesitation? Unfortunately, I do not always do so. In a recent issue of New Horizons magazine, I read an article with the following, “at the end of a long day, I have a choice whether to serve my family or my idols…. what we worship affects those we are called to love.” Now, let me ask the question again in reference to the end of a long day as well as during the quiet mundane moments of the day:
Where do you find your hope?
Again, in my mind I want to say the same answer I stated above, yet I know if you were a fly on my wall, you would see otherwise. This in turn shapes the views and behaviors of the generation watching. All too often I find my idols attracting much of my time, mostly under the guise of “tuning out” to get a break after a long day. After reading the article referenced above, this has become my prayer for us as parents, that we set aside our idols and our false hopes, if for nothing else than to encourage our children and set an example of a lasting hope. We may not feel that they understand us most of the time, but parents, our children are watching!
What is it exactly that we are seeing in the emotional well-being of our children, especially our girls? While the answer could include a long description of many different contributions to the drama our girls face, it can seemingly be found in the breakdown of sense of self. Go back yet again and ask the question of your daughters, where do you find your hope? Right now, many of our daughters are finding their sense of self in what they are, what they do that is liked, what they do that gains positive attention, and an assortment of many other things that are all at any moment on the verge of a collapse. How do we make a shift to help our daughters set aside the idols and weak foundations, to put their hope in who they are, whose they are, and who they are created to be?
First, you mom and dad, have been placed intricately as the mother and father of the children in your household. You have been called to shepherd your children; if you do not choose this over your own idols, someone or something else will. Attached you will find some articles, videos, podcasts, and suggestions on working through intentional time with your daughters to foster a biblical sense of self, sexuality, and identity in Christ. Dads, there is a link to a plethora of outstanding resources from Focus on the Family as you parent your daughters. Your role is critical in helping them secure their identity and understand the beauty of boundaries.
Secondly, I want to offer some first steps to take to successfully begin a transition from superficial hopes and dreams into the true hope of eternal life promised in Titus 1:2. This is not an exhaustive list, rather, it is the first steps to a successful journey of transition.
1. Put away your own idol. When I say put it away, I mean out of sight, out of reach. We must stop telling our children of the need to limit screen time all while staring at our own.
2. Seek wisdom, in other believing parents, in church leaders, the resources attached and other solid biblical avenues.
3. Pray fervently!
4. Have a conversation with your child/children. Ask the question posed at the beginning. Speak from your heart, exhibit your love and desire for your children to find a lasting happiness and hope that will not collapse at any moment.
5. Make a plan. I cannot stress this part enough: put a basket on your kitchen counter and set a time for all electronic devices to be placed in this basket. Further, when your child/children go to their room to go to bed, have all devices out of their room. I ask you this, if your child is using their device instead of sleeping, if your child is unable to sleep and turns to their device, what is more important, their device and the short-term satisfaction or their long-term hope? We cannot expect our children to face the challenges of the day deprived of sleep due to a preventable stumbling block.
6. Surround yourself with a community of believers to come alongside of you, to journey with you and help you adapt to the needs of your children in a biblical manner.
Lastly, my prayers are lifted for you and your children daily. I am grateful to have this opportunity to serve them and you as we journey through this together. The Lord has called us to shepherd this generation during a time that they have been given such incredible opportunities, and yet it is a time that we must provide the biblical discipleship in our homes, so they learn from us instead of the way of the world. On the day this article is sent out, join me for a seven-day challenge to take a purposeful pause from your idol as you make the choice to serve your family, you are not alone.
In Partnership,
Taylor Bell